Want sex or relationship advice? Hit me up for it…

here.

ADVICE: i want to try a urethral re route, i think its soo hot and cumming would be more fun! what are your opinions? -Cocklover (23, gay)

Hey, Cocklover. My opinion? I should spank you while your tiny boy cock’s stuffed full of that catheter, you naughty naughty little slut. Sure, dude, go for it. Just be sure to do your research first. Any kind of kink play that resembles medical procedures should follow actual medical procedure just as closely as possible. That way you can avoid giving yourself a nasty urethral infection, or worse. But, sure, go for it. Lots of people (old incontinent people and naughty perverts like you LOL) do it all the time. Good luck.

ADVICE: So I’m in a relationship with this guy and things are going great. It’s all fantastic. Except that he wants me to top and his ass just refuses to open. We acknowledge this, and I’ve tried to help him out (I can take his cock that is just as big as mine) with some advice, but nothing seems to be working. Any advice to get him loose? -2big (24, gay, w/BF >1mo)

Hi, 2big. Your problem is BS. This guy can take a shit, right? Well then something’s getting out. So it’s reasonable to assume he can also take something “shit-sized,” at least, that’s traveling in the opposite direction. You just gotta help him get there. Smoke some pot, get horny as hell, and slowly insert your pinky up his ass. Let him be in control, try a couple different position, encourage him breathe deeply if there’s pain, let him do it with his own pinky finger if he’s feeling weird, but don’t rush things. Once’s he’s loving one finger, add another one (maybe make it kinky and buy a cheap pair of latex gloves!). Get him used to two fingers. Then slip your cock in there, using the same tricks/technique as above. He’ll be sore at first - maybe even for the next day or so - but he’ll be just fine. I’m a total top, and, well… Once in a while I do like to get my ass fucked. One of the things that turns me on most about it is actually the soreness the next day. Walking around at work, through my day, with that constant reminder of what I did. Reminding me that I had a cock stuffed up my horny asshole. That it got owned and fucked and raped by another man. I’m hard now just typing this. Love it. And, eventually, so will he. Every asshole eventually gives up. Tame that shit. It’s definitely tamable. If not, move on. He’s obviously full of shit. (Perhaps literally, LOL.) Good luck.

ADVICE: I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year, but his dick isn’t the biggest and I have a secret fantasy of sucking a really big cock. I’ve been chatting with this guy online and he wants to meet up. He has a huge dick and I can’t stop thinking about it, but I’m afraid my boyfriend will find out… What should I do? -Jesse (18, gay, 14 mo relationship)

Hey Jesse. You’re right to give this some thought. I don’t think that you should cheat as a “first” resort. But I also don’t think you, as a barely-legal hot piece of boypussy, should be resigned to only sucking one (smallish) cock for the rest of your horny life. So, my advice is in tow parts - dependent on your BF and the relationship you’ve got with him. Advice A: assuming you want to be with him a long long time. You should just talk to him. Let him know you’ve had this fantasy about sucking a huge donkey cock (if you phrase it that way, very few men will have the right to feel inferior). Skip the fact that you’ve already found one (naughty boy!). But, tell him you don’t want to cheat. It’s just that you’ve been thinking about it a lot. Then figure out a compromise… Have him feed you a massive fucking dildo. If you need an element of danger, get naked with him in a stairwell or a stripmall parking lot or something and have him feed you the huge dildo cock there like the cocksucking degenerate you are. Maybe invite him to suck the big fat cock with you. If he’s into it, maybe have him find the dude so there’s no fear you’ll go “freelance.” Anyway, this is probably just one of the many fantasies and phases you should and will go through as you get older and sexually advanced (have you ever noticed that most the real fetishy perverts are older? that’s not a coincidence). Advice B: assuming you don’t want to be with this dude for a long long time. Wait it out. Things will either get better between the two of you and you can start heading down the path of Advice A. Or, things will get worse. In which case, you can just cheat. Good luck.

ADVICE: Hey, so I’ve been a fan of your blog for quite a while and thought I’d ask you for some advice, seeing as you have so much experience. :) Well first off, I’m a virgin and basically I think I’m gonna lose it soon, real soon. But I’m scared that…well…there’s gonna be some “tracings” if you catch my drift. I don’t want my first time to be an embarrassing one and I don’t want his first time with me to be regretful. What do I do? Thanks hottie. -Won Ton Azn (18, gay)

Hey, Won Ton Azn. Here’s a little golden turd of info that you, as a pristine virgin, may not know about ass fucking. Ass fucking involves asses. And, asses are for shitting. So, sometimes, while they’re being used for fucking, well let’s just say, there’s something “lying in wait.” You can douche with over-the-counter-enemas all you want. Do it if it makes you feel more comfortable. But, really, who cares. Shit happens. :) And it happens with MUCH less frequency than you’re probably imagining. But it does occasionally happen. When it happens to me, I just say, “Hold on,” and run for a paper towel, give the besieged asshole a wipe, and get back to grindin’. I mean, I doubt some huge dookie’s gonna fall out your ass. It’s probably gonna be just some little smear. If you’re getting fucked by someone who cares about you, I doubt that’s gonna be a problem. If you’re gettin’ fucked by someone you don’t really know, well, your friend’s dick’s gonna be protected anyway (right?). So, no worries, son. Have at it.

ADVICE: Last year, me and my “straight” friend had really really good sex, and fooled around a few times after that, and it was really good. We never talked about it and I was always the one to muster up the courage to get it started. Well now I’m really horny all the time and I really want his cock, but he has a girlfriend. I dunno how to tell sometimes if he wants to fuck again, he sends mixed signals. Should I play it cool or just invite him round and ask if he wants to fuck? Cheers, Kink (18, gay)

Hey, Kink. Your friend is probably sending mixed messages because he’s straight and in a relationship. Despite all that, he may still want to fool around. Thus, mixed messages. I mean, lots of guys, gay or straight, cheat. But lots don’t cheat, too. You just gotta do your best to determine whether he’s a cheater (and I mean that in the best possible sense) or not, and act accordingly. I mean, if he’s a monogamous non-cheater, your pass may piss him off on principle (all homosexuality aside LOL). So, if that’s the case, you might want to wait till he’s single again. Or at least bored with the new GF. If he’s non-monogamous or a cheater, though… Go for it. Ask him round, lube up that hole, and answer the door in a thong. Sounds like he’s up for it. (lol, get it? UP for it?!) Good luck.

ADVICE: Hey there, I’m 19. And I’ve been single for a little over three months now. We’ll call it irreconcilable differences… This isnt about him. My problem is somewhat petty actually. I’m sure you get lots of messages asking “How do I get a guy?” and that kind of stuff. But i’m actually asking, How do I attract a guy, and then when i have him, how do I make sure I keep him. Is it just fucking his brains out until he’s too dizzy to ever think about another man? What keeps men? Writing this, I feel like a little boy, or worse, a woman, thats confused about how men operate. But in truth, I know how I operate, and it seems to be much much different that the general consensus of how men act. I dont believe I’m bad looking, but i could be igor for all i know. I’m just wondering, what attracts men, and what keeps them? Because I’m pretty sure that somewhere in the mix, i’m missing it. Mucho love and appreciation, AAlastair

Hi, AAlastair. Your question reminds me of an amazing line from a play by Jules Feiffer. I can’t remember it exactly, but the gist is this: “Love is a gap - it’s the space between what you want and what your getting.” I think that’s what you’re missing here… Love. It’s the glue that makes things stick. When it happens, you’ll wonder why you ever had to ask this question of some online pervert in the first place. In the meantime, relax. You’re not unattractive. You’re not a little boy (or worse, a woman LOL). You’re just another guy waiting for love to come along. So be humble and wait patiently. It will happen, trust me. Till then, love yourself and try to have some fun.

ADVICE: So I’m a gay guy at a college that’s pretty limited in the gay men department. There’s this really flamboyant kid who’s into me but I’m not really into him. But I haven’t gotten any in so long and I’m kinda desperate. Should I go for him or should I just wait until I find something better? -Big Steve, 18

Hey, Big Steve. Much as I like to encourage bad behavior… I think I’d leave the “really flamboyant kid” alone. It sounds like you’re not into it. So, why be desperate? I mean, if you could fuck him without complicating your life and hurting his feelings, then, maybe. But that doesn’t sound feasible. And the math is pretty simple, really. Small school + No gay hotties = Off-campus prowling. Welcome to the gay internets, son. Oh, and feel free to send me your pic (fuck@gaysexnearby.com) and location. I’m sure I could scare up couple local cocks for you to play with.

ADVICE: Need tips 4 profile like at a manhunt site to attract younger guys….dont mind paying 4 it. -Varsityblue, 40

What’s wrong with Manhunt? I think it’s probably the best way to do it. Craigslist should work fine, too, because there’s no fee to join. But, really, I think those sites work well since you’re not looking for a professional whore, just a friendly arrangement.

ADVICE: To the under-18 crowd…

Hi, Under-18s. I’m getting your emails. Here are a few…

Okay… So I wanna get fucked but I’m sick of the boys. I’m actally 16, but people say I look 18. I wanna get fucked but an older guy that knows how, not some needle dick teenager that wants nothing but me to ride them. I do enjoy riding… but it would be better if I could actually FEEL it in my ass. Question; where can I get an older guy without me looking like a total weirdo and police come to my house. Also, would it be totally weird for a double fuck? (try everything once) -AsianTwink69 (16, gay)

Hello there. I’m a 15 gay teen, and horny as any other out there. I’ve never done ANYTHING with a guy… or really a girl. I kissed a girl in 6th grade, and that’s the only thing really. But I’m positive that I’m gay now, but I just feel so lonely. I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t plan on it. I live in a semi-small town in Texas and I’m not ready to tell anyone. The only gay people I’ve met are older and taken, or they’re skinny and emo. I think I’m ready to do sexual things with guys, but how? I’m not fat or ugly or anything :| -Kevin (15, gay)

Sorry but you’ll have to figure out how to get laid on your own. I’m not really in the business of advising children on where to find adult men to fuck them. And really… I didn’t get laid till I was 16 and then it was with a kid I knew in high school. Sweet innocent brand-new sorta stuff you’ll never be able to replicate later in life. Enjoy it while you can. Don’t try to grow up too soon. And quit emailing me. No offense. :)

ADVICE: So I have this co-worker that I think is so cute and he’s 18, we talk and stuff sometimes (he’s straight) and I mean sometimes we stare at each other for like the longest time and I check him out all the time and I’m not descret about it either I make him notice that I’m checking him out. && I just want to go up to him and tell him he’s cute and I mean he’s always talking about PUSSY with the other straight-co-workers. But I want to ask him if I can just blow him. What do I do? -James123 (20, gay)

Hey, James123. Check out this past Advice post of mine. That kid had a pretty similar question, except he was ogling a fellow student and you’re doing it to a co-worker. I’d probably just stick to the Fantasy Fodder route on this one. Having sex with co-workers falls in the Don’t Shit Where You Eat category. Making inappropriate passes at straight co-workers falls in the I Just Took A Huge Dump Where I Eat, Despite the Fact I’m About 90% Sure to Be Eating This Huge Dump Shortly. And, besides, Where do gay guys (you!) get off assuming that a straight guy will accept a blowjob from anyone who offers? Some might, but, most … um … no. I mean, would you instantly accept a blowjob from a chick just because it’s a blowjob? I wouldn’t. But as I said in the earlier post, that’s where flirting, drinking, and inappropriate hands-on-ed-ness can cum in handy. Again, though, I’d probably tread somewhat lightly here. Good luck.

ADVICE: Oh, You’ve no idea how much i wanted to ask advice from an experienced gay man ever since i accepted my STRONG preference for guys. Love your blog btw. If i wasn’t still closet, i’d have made it my home page. haha. Anyway, i’m pretty much a confused kid and i really need someone with different perspective to give me advice. My problem in summary, I’m horny as hell, but i want to hold on to my anal “virginity” for as long as possible. Well, Long enough for a boyfriend to take it away. Oh not to mention other shit that comes along the way like religion, the frigging society i’m living in and of course all the shit that comes from being a teenager under Asian Parental Rule(APR). Haha. That includes curfews(which means no fucking around after 12) and notifications on where i’m going and what i’m doing. Oh, i honestly hate to lie. But I do when neccessary.(Like the time i told my mom i was going out for church camp when i actually was fucking a guy in his mother’s bed. I’m a bottom btw… See how desperate i am…) You see, i want to keep holding onto my belief that there really is love in the Gay world out there and that we can, just as any other straight couple out there, have a loving relationship that is not driven solely on sex. I really really want to believe that and i’m totally ready for a relationship. But the thing is, the guy’s that i’ve met all only have sex on their minds.(I’m not saying i don’t. But i still want to keep a clean record as far as possible). I tend to drop them once i’ve found out that we’re not on the same page. There are many guys that hit on me and i can get laid any time that i want honestly. (it’s so easy these days isn’t it?) But that’s just not what i want! So what should i do? Cause honestly, this gay thing is obviously what my life is centered around and i cant keep my mind of having a relationship. (I’ve even considered Girls. Ew.) I guess i’m pretty much saying that i want to be that good boy who keeps traight on his path of goodness, just that i’! m doing it with guys instead of girls. Is IT EVEN POSSIBLE IN THIS WORLD? AM I JUST WASTING MY LIFE AWAY WISHING FOR THIS? Sigh. (I’m shallow as hell so don’t even think of telling me to date a desperate ugly guy.) Anyway, Hope to hear from you soon. Love, JerrySings (18, gay with a little bi).

Hey, JerrySings. God bless your young sweet soul. But, I think you’re confusing the attributes of “gay men” with those of “men” in general. Men are horny nasty sexy beasts. An illustration: As I type this, I’m sitting at work, surrounded by co-workers, wearing a tight leather cockring, sporting a massive hardon that’s slick with precum that’s all over the inside of my pants ‘cause I’m not wearing any underwear today. There’s an intern here that is so fucking sexy. He’s about 19 and wiry-thin with big punky earrings and tattoos on his forearms. He always walks around barefoot in the office for some reason and his feet get filthy and it drives me totally fucking wild. Some night we’ll be alone here working late, he’ll catch me looking at his filthy feet… He spits in my face, calls me a faggot, pushes me to the ground, and makes me lick his smelly teenage feet totally clean before making me tongue bathe his hairy sweaty bull balls and milk a giant cumload from his huge uncut cock. Then someone asks me a work question and I take a break from all that. But it’s always there. Just below the surface. Right? Isn’t that the fun of being a guy? Gay, straight, bi, whatever. Unlike women, we can comfortably be both Horny whore beast —AND— Impotent married eunuch. Your field of vision will, from time to time, only capture one side of this story. But, try to keep some perspective, son. And have faith that the other side is always there. Always. Oh, and, part of the reason you seem to constantly encounter horny perverts is that you sound like a seriously hot piece of pussy (please email me a naked pic at fuck@gaysexnearby.com, I’ll be happy to confirm this for you). So most of the men you are meeting are probably older and uglier than you are. OF COURSE they just wanna get in your pants. Everyone does. You’re 18. My advice is this… Live it up, son. Love and sex can coexist happily. Stop fretting and try to have a little fun while you’re young. Rock out with your cock out, wear a cockring to work, ogle some dirty feet, etc. You’ll still find love, trust me, you will, no worries. Good luck. Not that you’ll need it. :)